The major change is subtler now but the idea that I can do exactly what I want even if I don’t know what it is makes my day expand in ways that I never knew existed. Not to say that being married to my gentle soul my wife did not have many fantastic moments because they did, but now I can find out where I need to go in terms of what I need to make myself happy. One might conclude it’s all about sex but in truth that’s not it. I have had more than my fair share and that is not braggadocio just the path I found myself on because I did not work out my relationships with women tracing my history back to the death of my sister in 1969. She was my confidant and when she left this earth I never grieved her passing properly (whatever that means) and it left me angry and confused as to how I related to the opposite sex. But I have gotten on a tangent as I usually do and suffice it to say that my stick might be getting shorter but it just got a whole lot thicker.
I suspect you have always done most of the things you wanted. The difference now may be that you are more opened about them and don't feel guilty Self deprivation is not your style.
ReplyDeleteI am just discovering what it is to be me. Sounds kind of silly at my age but some never discover.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is once you find out is to live by the following mantra "I love myself, I trust myself, I will be myself"
ReplyDeleteWe are dynamic creatures throughout our lives . Trust whoever you are at the moment. Your angels will guide you. Live,love and laugh. Most of all be Happy. "Joy is the reflection of God's love with in us" (S. Clare Terese)