Today is the first day that I will ask my guides that are three what is it that I need to feel like I am taking care of myself and moving forward in my life? What do I need to do to let my family know in the most loving way that my needs are not being met. Simply because I can come and go virtually as I please does not mean that I am happy or that I am willing to take care of only them and not myself.
Even as I sit here and my wife is singing a song that she does every night to our youngest cat. I feel lonely in my own house. When she told me that he (Watson) loves to sit in the corner because it’s his favorite and that I should just move over I felt it was in a microcosm what is wrong with our relationship. Here is a cat not a human taking precedence over me. It seems absurd that I even have to talk about it but obviously I do as I sit here and write about it.
It also tells me that my wife is not all there either and just because she isn’t that doesn’t mean that I have to be her caretaker when no one takes care of me. The psychic told me today that she saw one of my shoes nailed to the floor and that I am in a sense being held back. How is it that I can be so self absorbed yet not know what I want, where I am going and more importantly knowing where I want to go.
December 31, 2010
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