My earliest memory from childhood is being ill in unusual ways for a child. I remember many times either having stiff necks, headaches and eyes being shut that took days to open and clear. My speculation is that I was seeking attention from my parents that I felt I had either lost due to the birth of my two sisters or attention that I was simply not getting. I recall that whenever I did get sick my mother paid particularly overt attention and caring towards me. For example whenever I had an upset stomach and had to throw up my mom would kneel down beside me and hold my head until I was finished retching. Later in life when I was poised over the porcelain throne I missed my mothers tender loving care.
Another memory that I recall that ‘stuck’ with me was in 1st grade. I was enrolled in parochial school and one day my class unmonitored kicked up a ruckus in the halls while we were on our back to class. My teacher was the Glinda the good Witch of the North and the teacher who caught our class skylarking was the Wicked Witch of the West. I remember that she had us all line up with our hands extended and doled out whacks on our hands to teach us a lesson. I felt so humiliated especially because I had not participated in any of the shenanigans. I knew that I had to take it just like the rest had to and it left a bad taste in my mouth being blamed for something I didn’t do.
Perhaps that is why you attract illnesses to yourself? Asthma has an emotional component. I too was sickly as a child . I had polio and was told I would never walk again. For me and my mother it was a personal defeat. We worked together until I was able to stand and eventually walk. The mind is a powerful force. When raising my children I told them if they were not sick from the start of school until Christmas they could take a Personal Day and they could plan the activities of the day. The same went for the Spring semester. Often I saw the Radio City Christmas Show multiple times. I am rarely sick. I plan on dying in perfect health as a very old person. I don't want or need negative attention
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