Gray Humming Seals

Today I played hooky and took off for Greenport for a ride in my friend Bob’s Boston Whaler for a trip around Plum and Gull Island. A little rough were the currents but my friend navigated the choppy surf with the most adroit speed and helmsmanship.  He told me that we were in for a treat as his son and he this past weekend were witness to a herd of gray humming seals off Little Gull Island. 

Well he was right and as we approached the lighthouse we spied about no less than 50 of these magnificent creatures speeding from their dry perch on the rocks to the waiting frigid waters. It seems they were as curious about us as we were about them. These seals so unlike the black playful ones we know from the zoo or the movies were massive weighing in at best guess to be at least 300 pounds or more and although they looked like a fish out of water on land when they slip gracefully into the water they move with certainty and a stylish beauty that is pure wonder. 

With their nostrils flaring as they approached us still at a safe distance that is safe seal distance you could hear their humming as if they were talking about us in the language of the sea. I wonder just what it was they were telling each other? Something like Oh God not these bipeds again!  Or maybe they were hoping we would jump in and share a swim with them but at 44 degrees Bob and I were not having a go at that.  

More tomorrow.  

Circumstantial Evidence

My father used to accuse me of taking his socks virtually every wash load. He never presented any evidence of this supposed miscreant behavior but I am sure he had his own set of circumstantial evidence that he clung to.  And I can say here for the first time that I never took any of his socks but he was so convinced I did. He did not ever check if they were in my drawers so it was perhaps just his wanting to hear his own voice complaining rather than actually having any interest of where his socks actually went.  

This has followed me occasionally throughout my life and  sometimes I just get accused of things based on circumstantial evidence and that always makes me indignant. And to be truthful much of this suspicion has been warranted.   Oh well 50 years from now these little pet peeves will not amount to an anthill.  

My Anima

As I sit here and realize that I am in charge of many more aspects of my life than I think I can lay claim to I have to dispense with the idea that peoples emotions take precedence over what I need to do to maintain a sense of order in my life amidst the seeming molecular chaos that surrounds me like runaway electrons trying to find the right orbit to settle into.  

My anima cripples me and puts me on pause too often when it is real time speed I need to let my life escape into. If I fail I fail but the zone of new discovery will always be an occluded sky if I don’t allow myself to falter and get singed.  Sometimes it’s not only courage we need but also a departure from the familiar like today when I get pulled in directions that bring me comfort rather than experiment. I need a return to isolation just so that I can hear myself think rather than what others think I need or should or want to do.  Not easy when you’re a sexagenarian because as I try to fool father time each day it is with the knowing that the end follows every story whether we have lived or we have chosen the easier softer way. 

Grateful

I never really considered holding out Thanksgiving as a special reporting day for all the blessings I have in my life.  I never liked Earth Day because I always felt that it was ceremony over substance when we became conscious of our environs for the waking part of our 24 hours. The same is true about being grateful for the life I have. It is fraught with uncomfortable situations mostly of my own doing but when I get out of my own way life is grand and even the most fleeting moments of sadness and pain never can reflect how deeply I love taking my next breath.  

A Sexagenarian's View

There comes a time in this mans life when you have to take stock of just where the hell you are. You’re 60, been married three times and failed miserably for different reasons in each one of them but you have your health. Well yeah-no. My body seems to be functioning just fine if my life in chemistry is any proof but I have contracted bronchial asthma for the 4th time and my heart likes to “Jump Around” like that House of Pain song. (Which I detest) 

But let’s look at the good side. I have lost 27 pounds and am as fit as I was when I was 45 and business although is hardly what could be considered “good” is passing in a time when the world is going to hell in a hand basket. And there are other considerations that are both good and quite bad which I will not chronicle here. I will now take Jacbook II and make those entries private and although it will be in a blog those that both love and hate me will no longer be able to read it and then eviscerate me.  

Purity

This blog has gotten me in a heap of trouble and now that my life is moving at right angles to my previous existence there is not much to report about it’s intersecting with those whose lives I leave behind.  I will always remember the part I played in my role of Step Dad and in the final analysis it might be that part of my life that I was just not cut out for. My wife is a dear soul and I will always love her.  I hope that she has many grandchildren who will flock to her side because her aura is pure and loving.  

I'm A-Fibbing

A second day of A-fib sandwiched in between 24 hours having a heart monitor on and being event free. Today is worse than Wednesday as I am at a low HR around 52 and still feeling dizzy. Now at 9:40 and  some 3x5 mg Bystolic’s later I am still in bogeyland. It’s into the hospital for an ablation I think. My circle says it is my exercise regimen I think it is just an episodic condition that plagues me. Some might say it’s Karma I think that has nothing to do with it and the lesson is that I am just living like I am 30 and that’s the chink I have to look at.  

Admonition

My friend Mike a retired anesthesiologist was in the right place at the right time for me today and I just wanted to acknowledge him even though he won’t see these words.

 I have struggled with this atrial fibrillation for quite some time now and today was the first time that I had the symptoms of light headedness and mild dizziness that accompanied it and did not have the accelerated HR I have almost became accustomed to.  When I awoke this morning,  I was feeling that unmistakable HR and took my meds which I am still derelict in doing most days and proceeded to head for spin class. Thinking it would simply dissipate as it usually does with the combination beta-blocker and arrhythmia drug I climbed aboard for what was in hindsight dumb thing to do. 

In any case as I sauntered around the locker room and wandered aimlessly Mike grabbed my wrist  and told me that even though my HR was low that it was indeed irregular and that I should get my butt to the emergency room and get a monitor on. As it turned out my call to my cardiologist came in  and I went to my doctor’s office instead. I am now wired and the admonitions from everyone are ringing in my ears and maybe this time I have actually heard what they are saying.  

And to my friend Mikey I owe a debt of gratitude.