Unlucky 13

Unraveling 13 years is a very sad experience that I don’t wish on anyone. It’s not just the years it’s the memories we have lived through. Now that it is coming to an end bitterly and most recently more acrimoniously it is more painful than ever to look at some of the ‘stuff’ that has accumulated in our home we have lived these past 8 years. 

When the parting is something both want it is never as painful as those relationships that end when one is lamenting of being alone and left to start again. For me it is not about starting again I can never do that. I just want to be happy and for many reasons I just was not. Not one of my blended family will be able to swallow that sentence but they don’t have to only I do. And as bitterly my wife feels about me and despises me for ruining her life she never for a moment can take into account that I do love her and will always love her but I just cannot go on the way things were.  I can be resentful of my stepson and his wife who have sent me to Coventry but have no problem living here these past 3 and ½ years. And as they prepare to finally leave their nest I am sorry that it took my wife and I to part for them to do so. I have done more than my share and no one can tell me different and I wish them well as they finally embark on their own road.