Love & Sentiment

I do get quite balled up in unraveling these two.  Having self determined that I am afflicted with the character trait of empathy I sometimes see it as a curse because I am weighed down as if I had a ball and chain attached to my ankle. Empathy makes me who I am so I am not trying to repress or deny this trait that is innate to my psyche but it does get in the way often. When I get mired in the feelings of another I feel I am sometimes debilitated in making decisions that are not only beneficial to me but also to those I love and have sentiment for as well. And there is no denying that those we have sentiment for we love or are in love with as well which makes deciding a course of action even more difficult.  

I can’t make someone do what they need to do to make themselves happy because well it’s simply not my job and to assume that it is my job is lunacy because I cannot control things, places and least of all people. Some may claim that I am responsible for their happiness or lack thereof but I don’t want that on my conscious because it’s selfish and quite egomaniacal to think that I have that power over anyone. And so sentiment has to be regulated into something I take into consideration but I cannot let it become daunting wherein I cease to progress along my own timeline whatever course that might be. I pray on this daily and I must trust my messenger angels on this.  

How Can I Be Sure?

How do I tell someone that I care for that they have gone wrong? How do I have the right to make assessments about them and not appear to be in any way judgmental? One way to assure this doesn’t happen is by making sure that I am not trying to feel superior to them when I make those observations. That is I have no agenda other than their well-being. It is unavoidable that judgment of any kind can get me into trouble lest I be judged myself but to sit idly by when there is a chance by an intervention that I can help would be a greater disservice and I would be misrepresenting myself as a caring man if I sit on the sidelines and do nothing when by taking action I felt I might be of some help. 

In order to bolster the idea that I should do or say something would be to check the veracity of my judgments by sharing with another whom I respect and value that their responses will not result in hyperbole and exaggerate an already tenuous situation.   Although that can be a slippery slope because when trying to verify my thoughts I must take an inordinate amount of care that I do not appear to be a gossip. So often we as humans can engage in schadenfreude in trying to feel superior but we must trust those we impart our confidences to that they keep our words in confidence and be an active listener to what their thoughts are on the subject in order to keep our own judgments in perspective.