There comes a time in the child of the man that the roles are reversed. From afar I could see the mismanaged emotions of others trying to cope with the aging parent that could no longer function on the level their offspring were accustomed to. Now it is my turn and the bath by fire is my tub. My father holds many mixed emotions in my psyche and I think that is partly the reason why I lose my patience with him when my own world is turned a degree off its axis.
My younger sister put it in perspective for me quite succinctly: My father is 2. He wants what he wants when he wants it. A man that was fiercely independent has now become needy and he is loving it and I am falling right in as the enabler as if I was born for the part. This is not a role I was ready to take on. When my emotional investment is nil I am cool calm and collected. Now that blood is mixed into the family soup I almost feel like I am in over my head. More to come on these thoughts….
Remember my dear we will all get there if luck is with us. Remember he is not a child.
ReplyDeletePerhaps instead of giving him what he wants you can say "let me show you where that is so the next time you want it you won't have to wait for someone to get it for you". There are things he won't be able to do for himself but those he can do he ought to do. It is better for him as well as you and your sisters to make him take some responsibility for himself. Remember he is a man .