Merriam Webster says: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.
Yes I know for most of us this idea is any number of adjectives including but not limited to: Impossible, preposterous, immoral and just not right.
What is true for you might not be true for everybody. But let’s put arguments aside for a moment and focus on what polyamory can mean to monogamists. Polyamory is not cheating, having and affair or about lying. It is about full disclosure. In fact polyamorists reject most strongly against cheaters. For them there is just no room for these people in their community.
No one that is involved in a polyamorous relationship ever has to worry where their romantic partner is or whom they are with. Think of that for a second? No longer can one lover claim that their partner betrayed them or cheated on them or broke their trust. And the partner that is engaging sexually with another man or woman no longer has to lie about who they’re making love to.
Let’s ask ourselves as monogamists this question? Have we only had one sexual partner in our lives? For a small majority the answer is yes but for the vast majority of us we most assuredly have had multiple partners and maybe more than one spouse. What does that make us? Serial monogamists? Here’s another question? Can we probably say that even some of the best marriages over time on balance had an indiscretion or two or three? Does that mean you don’t love your significant other? I can’t answer that for you. And is there any one of us that have had affairs and our partners never found out? Are we still feeling guilty? Polyamorists don’t have guilty consciences.
So what’s the point? Could it be that some of us are not built for monogamy? We try with all our will to conform to the laws of society but we just can’t. Maybe the answer is celibacy or polyamory. Just a thought.
