On a late night run I played this remix version of the David Guetta-Usher collaboration and it metaphorically lit my incandescence.
There is someone in each of our lives that when we think of them not at our side fills our hearts with anguish and the cascade of tears down our cheeks. It is sometimes a very helpless feeling that we can neither change nor ameliorate except through the memories of all the good times we have spent with that person. It could be anybody a father, mother, grandparent, spouse or even the closest friends. Point is we cannot escape being without someone. Tis’ a fact of life all things must pass. There are those that have vanished out of our lives we are eternally grateful having spent shared breathing time with. There are those too that disappear that we hardly notice until a random thought brings them back out of the shadows of our memory.
I still struggle with not being able to say goodbye because I think its too painful to let go even when there seems no alternative not to. We rationalize keeping them in our sphere of love because we don’t want to hurt them and we think by holding on we will discover a way to right a sinking and capsized ship. All I succeed in doing is hurting them more and adding to my own resistance and resentment as I wrangle with a way to keep the status quo. I’ve often said that every relationship has its expiration date. I have often left things in the fridge long past the spoil date just because I don’t want to spill the coagulated blood. I’d rather deal with the open wound than let healing take place and deal with the often very visible scars.
